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OnVideo AUGUST Video Reviews

Joe Dirt photo ADVENTURES OF JOE DIRT, THE
Very lame white trash comedy about a young man (David Spade) raised alone amidst the dumpsters of the Grand Canyon who goes on a journey from one end of America to the other in search of his parents, who abandoned him when he was a child. Along the way he takes all sorts of jobs, which set him up for all sorts of mishaps (including a stint with a psychotic American Indian, a janitor who's a hit man in the witness protection program, and an abortive job at a Florida alligator farm). The whole adventure is related -- monotone -- via a shock jock's (Dennis Miller) L.A. radio show. You really really have to be a Spade fan to enjoy this one.

Director: Dennie Gordon. Stars: David Spade, Dennis Miller, Christopher Walken, Brittany Daniel, Kid Rock, Jaime Pressly, Rosanna Arquette. CC, (MPAA rating: PG-13, 91 min.), Comedy, 2001, Box office gross: $27.087 million, (Columbia TriStar), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/28, DVD: Day & Date.

2 stars go
back





CHOCOLAT
Chocolate photo Set in the late 1950s in a quaint French village, "Chocolat" is a delectable repast that tickles the filmic taste buds. A woman (Juliette Binoche) and her daughter arrive in a town steeped in traditional values and set up a chocolate shop that offers more than sweet morsels to eat -- the mouth watering confections release liberating powers of pleasure, which make the villagers come back for more. After stirring up desires and temptations, the woman is confronted by a righteous nobleman (Alfred Molina) who resents the destruction of the village's code of ethics. With the aid of some of the townspeople -- and a mysterious riverboat traveler (Johnny Depp) -- she changes the minds -- and morals -- of her detractors.

Director: Lasse Hallstrom. Stars: Juliette Binoche, Judi Dench, Alfred Molina, Lena Olin, Johnny Depp, Victoire Thivisol, Carrie-Anne Moss. CC, (MPAA rating: PG-13, 121 min.), Comedy Drama, 2000, Box office gross: $66.082 million, (Miramax), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/7, DVD: Day & Date.

4 stars go
back





ENEMY AT THE GATES
Exciting war drama set during the German siege of Stalingrad in 1942 and 1943 that pitted young Russian conscripts against veteran German soldiers in a battle that pretty much sealed the fate of the faltering German monolith on the Eastern front. A Russian country boy (Jude Law) with a rifle wipes out a group of German officers and comes to the attention of Soviet authorities, desperate to find heroes to mobilize their war-weary troops. Cranking up their propaganda machine, the Russians extol their sharpshooter's abilities so much so that the Germans bring in their own sharpshooter, played by Ed Harris, to put a stop to the sniper. The story is much more than a war film, however, as it pits aristocrats vs. peasants and explores eternal themes of love, loyalty and betrayal.

Director: Jean-Jacques Annaud. Stars: Jude Law, Joseph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz, Bob Hoskins, Ed Harris, Ron Perlman. CC, (MPAA rating: R, 130 min.), War drama, 2001, Box office gross: $51.079 million, (Paramount), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/14, DVD: Day & Date.

4 stars go
back





Exit Wounds photo EXIT WOUNDS
Action hero Steven Seagal is back on the big screen with a vengeance. And once again he plays a cop on the edge, whose tough-guy posterings and bad attitude to criminals has caused him to be demoted to a traffic cop on the mean streets of Detroit. But you can't keep a good cop down, and when 50 kilos of heroin disappear from the precinct's property room, Seagal is called back to action to uncover the corruption. His only help: gangsta DMX. Between the two, there's plenty of bone-crunching, metal searing action that should excite action-adventure movie thrill-seekers to no end. Director Andrzej Bartkowiak made an auspicious debut last year with Jet Li's "Romeo Must Die."

Director: Andrzej Bartkowiak. Stars: Steven Seagal, DMX, Isaiah Washington, Michael Jai White, Anthony Anderson, Jill Hennessy, Tom Arnold, David Vadim. CC, (MPAA rating: R, 100 min.), Thriller, 2001, Box office gross: $51.674 million, (Warner), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/31, DVD: Day & Date.

3 stars go
back





15 MINUTES
15 minutes
photo Robert De Niro and Edward Burns took the money and ran on this one, sending in look-a-likes to perform their acting roles. And their look-a-likes slept through the entire production! De Niro plays a celebrity New York homicide cop and Burns plays a N.Y. Fire Dept. arson investigator who team up to track down a pair of Eastern European killers on a rampage through the city. The plot -- such as it is -- has the Czech and Russian killers arriving in N.Y. to get their share of a bank heist -- only to find the money gone. They then go on a killing spree, manipulating the media in the hopes of getting a book and movie deal when they're arrested and plead insanity (don't ask). The result: bloody, stupid violence and meaningless deaths. Kelsey Grammer plays a sleazy TV newsman who helps give the killers their Andy Warholish 15 minutes of fame.

Director: John Herzfeld. Stars: Robert De Niro, Edward Burns, Karel Roden, Oleg Taktarov, Kelsey Grammer, Melina Kanakaredes, Kim Cattrall. CC, (MPAA rating: R, 121 min.), Suspense, 2001, Box office gross: $24.375 million, (New Line), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/14, DVD: Day & Date.

2 stars go
back





Get Over It photo GET OVER IT
Typical teen romantic comedy about a high school senior (Ben Foster) dumped by his girlfriend (Melissa Sagemiller) who will try everything to win her back, including auditioning for the school's production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream." Director Tommy O'Haver throws in everything from bathroom slapstick to wildly choreographed production numbers that pop out of nowhere (ala "Dancer in the Dark") as the young man seeks romantic salvation. But the best advice comes from the forlorn teen's sister (Kirsten Dunst): Get Over It.

Director: Tommy O'Haver. Stars: Ben Foster, Melissa Sagemiller, Shane West, Kirsten Dunst, Sisqo, Colin Hanks, Martin Short, Swoosie Kurtz, Ed Begley Jr. CC, (MPAA rating: PG-13, min.), Comedy, 2001, Box office gross: $11.560 million, (Miramax), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/14, DVD: Day & Date.

2 stars go
back





HANNIBAL
Hannibal photo Hannibal the Cannibal is back, and in full force. When we last saw Dr. Lecter (Anthony Hopkins), at the end of "The Silence of the Lambs," he was on the loose, and this film follows him to Florence, where he's incognito as a museum curator. Enter one his prior victims -- confined to a wheel chair -- who's put a bounty on his head -- and an Italian inspector who wants some extra cash to keep his high-maintenance wife happy. Add in female FBI agent Clarice (Julianne Moore standing in for Jodie Foster), anxious to again confront the mad doctor, and you have the makings of another great psychological (and at times gruesome) thriller -- especially when the real bad guys meet their hideous doom.

Director: Ridley Scott. Stars: Anthony Hopkins, Julianne Moore, Ray Liotta, Frankie R. Faison, Gary Oldman, Giancarlo Giannini, Francesca Neri. CC, (MPAA rating: R, 131 min.), Thriller, 2001, Box office gross: $160.116 million, (MGM), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/21, DVD: Day & Date.

3 stars go
back





Josie and the
Pussycats photo JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS
It looked good on paper but this filmic version of the animated 1970s TV series based on the Archie comic book characters has trouble getting fleshed out on the big screen. Riverdale grrrl band Josie and the Pussycats get picked by an unscrupulous manager (Alan Cumming) and his nasty record label boss (Parker Posey) to be the latest hot thing. In reality, they're being used as a conduit for subliminal messages urging America's kids to buy buy buy. So what's so unusual about that? Anyhow, its generally good, clean fun, and the girls (Rachael Leigh Cook, Tara Reid, Rosario Dawson) are fun to watch and listen to (though their vocals aren't their own). Also fun: counting the product placements.

Director: Deborah Kaplan, Harry Elfont. Stars: Rachael Leigh Cook, Tara Reid, Rosario Dawson, Parker Posey, Alan Cumming. CC, (MPAA rating: PG-13, 93 min.), Comedy with Music, 2001, Box office gross: $14.252 million, (Universal), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/14, DVD: Day & Date.

3 stars go
back





MEXICAN, THE
The Mexican photo You really, really have to be big fans of Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt to like this misguided, sloppy comedy. Pitt plays a reluctant, hapless goofball of a bagman who has messed up on so many assignments that his mob boss has given him an ultimatum for one last job -- travel to Mexico to retrieve "The Mexican," a valuable antique pistol that reportedly carries a legendary curse (which starts to come true) or die. Meanwhile his girlfriend, Roberts, also has given him an ultimatum -- quit the mob now or she leaves him. He chooses to live and be in trouble with her and heads out to Mexico, where he encounters one mishap after another. She splits for Vegas and ends up being taken hostage as insurance that "The Mexican" will be returned. When Roberts and Pitt finally meet up again, they're more like combatants on Jerry Springer than lovers. There's a twist ending but we won't reveal it -- we fell asleep.

Director: Gore Verbinski. Stars: Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, James Gandolfini, Bob Balaban, J.K. Simmons, David Krumholtz, Gene Hackman. CC, (MPAA rating: R, 123 min.), Comedy, 2001, Box office gross: $66.588 million, (DreamWorks), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/7, DVD: Day & Date.

2 stars go
back





Recess photo RECESS: SCHOOL'S OUT
Disney's Saturday morning animated series comes to the big screen in this feature-length adventure about a group of elementary schoolers who uncover a plot by a discredited ex-principal to eliminate summer with the help of a super, moon-shifting laser beam. It's the kids versus the grown-ups at the schoolyard corral.

Director: Chuck Sheetz. Stars: Voices of Andy Lawrence, Ashley Johnson, Ricky D'Shon Collins, Courtland Mead, Jason Davis, Robert Goulet, Melissa Joan Hart, Dabney Coleman, April Winchell, James Woods. CC, (MPAA rating: G, 84 min.), Animated, 2001, Box office gross: $35.579 million, (Disney), $24.99 VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/7, DVD: Day & Date.

2 stars go
back





SAY IT ISN'T SO
Say It Isn't So photo Sleight but twisted comedy about a hapless, pathetic dog catcher who falls hopelessly in love with an off-beat, beautiful hair stylist and then finds out that she may be his sister. By the time he discovers that that's not the case, he has precious little time to stop the woman of his dreams from marrying another man.

Director: James B. Rogers. Stars: Heather Graham, Chris Klein, Orlando Jones, Sally Field. CC, (MPAA rating: R, 95 min.), Comedy, 2001, Box office gross: $5.516 million, (Fox), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/21, DVD: Day & Date.

2 stars go
back





SEE SPOT RUN
See Spot Run photo Really stupid, vulgar comedy about a dog hating mailman who gets hooked up with an FBI pooch while trying to impress the girl of his dreams. When the canine cop bites off one of the testicles of mob boss Paul Sorvino, a hit is put out on the mutt and he's sent into the doggie protection program. Naturally the dog hooks up with Arquette and the son of the woman he's enamored of, and, after plenty of slapstick involving flatulence, ca-ca and an electrified doggie collar activated by a TV remote, our hero comes out smelling like ... a rose? A true example of the lowest common denominator of American moviemaking, where bathroom humor comes to the fore and the only intelligent mammal is a dog.

Director: John Whitesell. Stars: David Arquette, Michael Clarke Duncan, Leslie Bibb, Joe Viterelli, Paul Sorvino, Angus T. Jones, Anthony Anderson. CC, (MPAA rating: PG, 94 min.), Comedy, 2001, Box office gross: $33.357 million, (Warner), $22.96 VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/28, DVD: Day & Date.

2 stars go
back





3000 MILES TO GRACELAND
3000 Miles to Graceland photo Run-of-the mill violent action thriller about a pair of former cellmates who come up with the bright idea of robbing a Las Vegas casino during International Elvis Week -- dressed as Elvises (but carrying machine guns in their guitar cases). Kevin Costner plays against type as a frenzied, mad-dog killer who will stop at nothing to keep his share of the loot, while Kurt Russell plays a sympathetic villain. After a slam-bam robbery (in the first 30 minutes) the film goes predictably downhill, what with your typical double-crosses, murders, twists and revenge. An enjoyable (but violent) fluff that plays much better on the small screen.

Director: Demian Lichtenstein. Stars: Kurt Russell, Kevin Costner, Courteney Cox, Christian Slater, Kevin Pollak, David Arquette, Jon Lovitz, Howie Long, Thomas Haden Church, Bokeem Woodbine, David Kaye. CC, (MPAA rating: R, 130 min.), Thriller, 2001, Box office gross: $7.160 million, (Warner), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/7, DVD: Day & Date.

2 stars go
back





TIME AND TIDE
Kinetic action thriller from one of the kings of Hong Kong filmmaking: Tsui Hark. A streetwise young man joins a force of bodyguards, run by his uncle, to score quick cash. When he meets a disillusioned ex-mercenary and his wife, the young man's life takes on unexpected turns: first he teams up with the man to foil an assassination attempt, then he gradually becomes the man's enemy as the mercenary changes sides. But the mercenary takes a liking to the youngster, and despite going up against a host of bodyguards and cops, he makes sure that his ex-protege stays safe. Wild plot twists, flashbacks, action scenes and camera angles that will make your jaw drop. In Cantonese with English subtitles.

Director: Tsui Hark. Stars: Nicholas Tse, Wu Bai, Candy Lo. CC, (MPAA rating: R, 113 min.), Thriller, 2000, Box office gross: $ million, (Columbia TriStar), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/7, DVD: Day & Date.

4 stars go
back





Tomcats photo TOMCATS
Vowing never to get married, six buddies contribute $1,000 each into a mutual fund with the agreement that the last single man gets it all. Seven years later, only two bachelors are left -- Michael (Jerry O'Connell) and Kyle (Jake Busey) -- and the kitty has grown to half a million dollars. With a hugh gambling debt that needs to be paid off, Michael plots to get Kyle married by tracking down the latter's super-sexy lost love, Natalie, offering to split the money with her if the con works. But things get out of kilter when Michael falls for Natalie. Add in a dominatrix librarian, a Vegas mobster, and a quick trip to a sperm bank, and you have another sticky, dumb comedy.

Director: Gregory Poirier. Stars: Jerry O'Connell, Shannon Elizabeth, Jake Busey, Horatio Sanz, Bill Maher, Jamie Pressly. CC, (MPAA rating: R, 95 min.), Comedy, 2001, Box office gross: $13.558 million, (Columbia TriStar), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/14, DVD: Day & Date.

2 stars go
back





VATEL
Luscious costume drama set in 17th century France and directed impeccably by Roland ("The Mission," "Killing Fields") Joffe. Gerard Depardieu plays the steward to an aging and out-of-favor prince whose small region is on the verge of bankruptcy. When the prince gets the opportunity to curry the favor of young King Louis XIV, who plans to stay three days at the prince's castle, he calls upon Vatel to create and plan a masterful event of food, dance, music and theatrics. And Vatel pulls it off for the king and his court -- until he falls for one of the king's current bedmates, Anne de Montausier (Uma Thurman) and invokes the wrath of a cunning marquis (Tim Roth). Spectacle wrought to a high art.

Director: Roland Jaffe. Stars: Gerard Depardieu, Uma Thurman, Tim Roth, Julian Sands, Julian Glover. CC, (MPAA rating: PG-13, 117 min.), Drama, 2000, Box office gross: $0.049 million, (Miramax), No VHS SRP, Priced for rental, Available: 8/7, DVD: Day & Date.

3 stars go
back





All DVDs are screened on a reference system consisting of a Rotel RDV-1080 DVD Audio/Video Player, a Rotel RSX-972 Surround Sound Receiver, and Phase Technology 1.1 (front), 33.1 (center), and 50 (rear) speakers and Power 10 subwoofer.

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